Unraveling

I'm kind of a mess right now.

Thirteen days from now I'll be boarding a plane to cross the Atlantic and set foot on American soil for the first time in five months.

I have gifts to buy for friends, four exams to study for, two essays to write, un motón de friends to say good bye to, a city full of things left to explore, two suitcases to pack, and two more trips to prepare for. My shoulders refuse to untense, every muscle in my body cramps when I stretch, my allergies are now in full swing and I'm tired.

Not to mention the fact that the very next day after returning home I have to report to a temporary job at 9 a.m. and go to campus that afternoon.

Ohmigod I never knew my head was capable of holding so many things at once. I don't know how to describe how I'm feeling at all. I'm literally split with excitement at finally going home and seeing my family, friends and house and everything I've ever known in my life again, and having to say good bye to all the people and places I've met here in Spain. What weighs me down the most is knowing that things are never going to be like this again. Yes, I'll be able to stay in touch with all my friends and probably see some of them, but we won't ever all be in the same place, together, ever again. They'll be in California, Oregon, Illinois, Florida, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, Indiana, Tennesee, New Hampshire, Holland, France, China, Russia, Spain.

The funny thing is that over the past few days, I've randomly been thinking of the various streets around home. The intersection of Wisteria and Middlebrook, 355 and Ridge Rd, 118 and Clopper Rd, Great Seneca and Richter Farm, the intersection outside Lakeforest, 270, 495. It's not that I necessarily want to return to these roads, I mean, they really aren't anything special, and every time I drive around home, I always think about how normal (re: boring) they are. Yet, here I am, all the way in Spain thinking about the road map of Germantown. I know that the instant I'll be driving down these roads, I'll think, Well, back to reality; boring old reality again.

On the other hand, I can't even imagine how nice it will be to see the American flag hanging in Dulles Airport, to hug my family after exiting the terminal, to drive down the Dulles Toll Road talking nonstop about how amazing the past five months have been, to see English signs everywhere, to pull into the garage, and finally pass out on the sofa with a cup of hot chai.

No no no no no Priya - stop thinking about that because it will arrive soon enough. What you need to be taking in now is the beauty of Madrid, the vibrance that comes with living in the middle of a city. Absorb all the Spanish you can because who knows when you'll be hearing it as much as you are now. Spend all the time you can with your friends and don't let the thought of leaving them bring you down. Enjoy it, enjoy it while you can because you and everyone else knows that it will be gone before you know it. Germantown will arrive soon enough, but give Madrid the despedida it deserves.